Ling suggested that we keep journals during this process, so let's give that a try. This process. I'm not even sure what it is we are doing. Vishali wanted more space and time apart. It started with some mornings on the weekends, time off to go hiking or do whatever. Then even most of a weekend, staying in the city for a couple nights. The talk turned to getting a separate place for some time, and with the consideration of my drinking and drug use, I suppose I need to step up and take responsibility for the safety of the family and be the one to move out. But honestly I don't feel like I am *that* unsafe. I don't even think that Vishali truly feels *that* unsafe. I think she was actually looking forward to getting a place of her own... and I'm probably biased and whatnot, but I feel like it was her therapist that corralled her into her position of not feeling safe and wanting for me to move out. But I try to give her the benefit of the doubt and take her words at face value. I'm trying to be positive about it, but when I think about it, I envision myself alone in an empty, poorly lit apartment, sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, and it feels so depressing. I hope when it comes to it, I can find myself in a more optimistic mood and make use of the time alone?
