I really wonder why the only stuff I talk about in my diary is my drinking problem and girls. This one isn't about the drinking; though it is still a problem every so often, I'm becoming more able to handle restrained drinking. So this one is about girls, though now I'm not sure what I wanted to say. Catie and I are doing well. It's been over two months since we were so dangerously close to breaking up, and I think we've gotten passed that. I have some doubts and concerns sometimes about our sex life, though last night we had some good naughty fun. I think, though, I have more doubts about my ability to always remain faithful. And that's cuz I've been unfaithful in the past. I didn't think I would be then, I don't understand now why I wasn't, and so it's hard to be certain that I'll never do that sort of thing again. It comes to mind because I got paired up to TA with a girl whom I think is cute, and I first took notice of her like around when I first started school here, and the fact that I still notice her reinforces my fear of being attracted to her. The easiest way to avoid cheating is to avoid potentially tempting situations. I think this is now out of my hands, so it will be based on my will (well, let's not be silly, her will too; she's got a boyfriend, and there is no indication whatsoever that she would be interested in me anyway--crossing fingers about that). Just standing next to her earlier made me want to stand just a bit closer. No good. But who can deny that fun tingle of butterflies in the stomach?
